Her Husband Wants to Attend His Ex's Funeral: "I Told Him Not to Even Think About It"

Sometimes, even in the most harmonious marriages, crisis situations arise. The author of a letter to Bright Side's advice column experienced such a moment when she found out that her husband was planning to attend the funeral of his ex-wife, which didn't sit well with her.

"Dear Bright Side, I am 35 years old and have been married to Michael (39) for five years. Before we became a couple, he was in another marriage for 12 years until his previous wife left him for someone else. Their divorce was really difficult, and Michael was devastated. It took him years to come to terms with it".

Pogrzeb (zdjęcie ilustracyjne)Fot. pexels.com/Pavel Danilyuk

'If You Go to That Funeral, I'll Know You Still Have Feelings for Her'

Yesterday, his former sister-in-law called to inform him that his ex-wife had unexpectedly passed away. I overheard him crying on the phone. After he hung up, I told him not to even think about going to the funeral. 'Are you serious? My ex-wife just died! Where's your empathy?' Michael retorted. 'Empathy for the woman who tore your heart out and left you in pieces that I had to put back together? I don't think so. If you go to that funeral, I'll know you still have feelings for her,' I threatened".

"'Just because I'm mourning someone I loved for over a decade doesn't mean I still love her. I'm going to the funeral to pay my respects and to find closure, not to rekindle old flames,' my husband said, adding, 'It hurts me that you're jealous and don't trust me. You shouldn't try to control me like this; it's not fair. I'm going to that funeral, and I hope you can come to terms with it.' Tell me, did I really overreact? Am I the one in the wrong?"

Her Husband Wants to Attend His Ex's Funeral, and She Disapproves. The Advisor Says, "Think About It"

The article's author pointed out that while it's important to consider your own feelings, it's also crucial to try to understand your husband's grief. "Think about how you would feel if you lost someone important from your past, even if that relationship ended badly. Such an empathetic approach could be a bridge connecting your feelings with Michael's needs" - the article reads.

"Think of it this way: Michael's experiences, including his previous relationship, have shaped him into the man you fell in love with. Accepting his past doesn't mean you're less important. It means you accept him for who he is" - the advisor suggested.