When we don't feel like getting intimate for a long time, we start looking for reasons. Often, we blame it on fatigue, lack of sleep, or too much work. And yes, sometimes that’s the case. But when those reasons don’t even convince us, we turn to doctors. Maybe it's hormones or other health problems. Many women only consider their partner as a last resort. As it turns out, they are often the reason for low libido.
This Trait Kills the Mood. It’s a Libido Killer for Women
American and Canadian scientists studied hundreds of people from various countries and continents, publishing their findings in the scientific journal "Archives of Sexual Behavior". It turns out that there is a certain type of man who acts as a libido killer for women. Interestingly, it’s not about impulsiveness or traits that qualify him as "toxic" or a "red flag".
In many relationships, the woman takes care of most of the household chores. When she’s responsible for cooking, cleaning, scheduling doctor’s appointments for the kids (and sometimes even for her husband), or remembering the car’s maintenance, it’s hard to expect her libido to be high. If a man doesn’t take responsibility, doesn’t take the initiative, lets himself be waited on (or even demands it) - yes, he gains free time, comfort, and peace, but at the same time, he loses in the eyes of his partner.
"Man-children" can be real libido killers, as confirmed by the study’s findings. Women see them as dependent and helpless. Consciously or not, they feel that even if these men do take responsibility and start helping, it will be done worse than if they had done it themselves. Adding to this the real exhaustion, stress, and constant thinking about everything related to the home, work, kids, and the man-child husband, it’s no wonder that the end of the day in many households looks the same: "When the lights go out, we go to sleep".
Is the Relationship Doomed? Not Necessarily
Can this be fixed? No one can promise that, but there are definitely some things that can be done to improve the relationship. The key is an honest conversation, signaling that something is wrong, and listening to the other side as well. If communication isn’t going well on your own, it might be worth involving a specialist who can help approach the problem in a structured and controlled way. This way, without arguments and accusations, it’s easier to reach an understanding.
