I've always worked since my student days. For the past few years, I've had a stable job, during which I became pregnant. My daughter is not even a year old. Naturally, my paid parental leave is coming to an end, and I'm starting to question whether returning to work is the right and necessary decision.
'Do I really need to go back to work?'
My husband earns really well, and it seems that his career will only continue to grow. What I get from my employer is just enough to cover the bills and basic groceries. The money for larger expenses, like renovations, a car, or vacations, comes from my husband's account. I've started wondering if I really need to go back to work.
I've already had a significant career break because of the baby, and it will only get worse with daycare and illnesses, so I'll probably be at the office less often than more. I also want to have at least one more child. Besides, I really like the idea of being a stay-at-home mom, taking care of the family, the house, shopping, cooking, and planning vacations. What convinces me the most is the idea of raising the children, especially during these early years when their character and our relationships are being shaped. I don't want to send my daughter to daycare, into the hands of people I don't even know. Of course, I have nothing against these institutions. People use them, and if needed, I would join them too. But I’m wondering if – exactly – if there's even a need.
The more I think about it, the more I dream of not working. However, I am aware of the 'risks.' My mom made this very clear when I confided in her. First, she challenged my ambitions, reminding me that I have a degree, that I was doing well at work, and that in today’s world, there are no limits, and I could climb higher even if I return to work right before turning 40. When I admitted that I wasn't sure if I wanted that, she hit me with the classic:
'Child! You know I love Wojtek like my own son, but don’t become so dependent on him. What if he leaves you? You'll be left out in the cold! Or what if he loses his job? At 50, no one will want to hire you without experience! Darling, I don't wish this upon you, but you know life can be unpredictable.'
Yes, I know, and that’s exactly the reason for my dilemma. Maybe among your readers, there are women who decided to 'stay at home,' take care of their family, and left earning to their husbands? Are they happy? Do they have any regrets (if any)? How did they manage to secure themselves? I'd love to hear different perspectives because I’m stuck. PS. Of course, I’ve talked to my husband about this, and he has no problem supporting us. So the decision is entirely up to me.
