It may seem that after marriage, you're allowed more freedom in bed. And indeed, starting to engage in sexual relations with your husband or wife is one such allowance. However, not every erotic act is permitted for Catholics. If you find it hard to resist certain behaviors, you will need to confess them.
These actions in bed are forbidden by the Church - even after marriage
The starting point for considering what is allowed or not in bed after marriage is the very purpose of the act. In the Catholic Church, sexual relations are not only meant to strengthen the bond between husband and wife but also to aim at creating new life. Therefore, any sexual activity in which the possibility of conception is deliberately and consciously prevented is considered a sin. And we're not talking about minor offenses, but serious sins.
With this in mind, it’s no surprise that forbidden actions after marriage include masturbation, withdrawal (coitus interruptus), and the much-condemned use of contraception. These acts prevent fulfilling the primary Catholic obligation - procreation. However, not all sexual situations are so clear-cut when aiming to follow Church teachings.
Are erotic fantasies forbidden? What about sex toys?
Many people wonder about the issue of erotic fantasies. They are entirely natural, and even if we think we shouldn’t indulge in them, it’s hard not to think about the proverbial "pink elephant". Are erotic fantasies also forbidden by the Church? It turns out they are not - but there are conditions. Fantasies should lead to strengthening the bond with your spouse and thus should be about them. Additionally, they must not lead to masturbation or orgasm, as those are considered sinful acts.
And what do the clergy say about sex toys? Following the same logic, they can be used, provided they do not lead to sin. Instead, they should bring partners closer together.
