"Mommy, nooo, don't go!" - you hear every morning when you drop off your little one at preschool, and you start to wonder if this behavior is normal or if something is wrong. This excessive fear of separation from the person the child is strongly attached to is not unusual and usually passes quickly. However, sometimes additional support is needed. "1 in 25 children experiences separation anxiety and may need extra help," according to connectedfamilies.org, a non-profit organization supporting families.
Separation Anxiety: How to Overcome It?
Separation anxiety in children is considered part of their development, especially when it occurs in early childhood (between 6 months and 5 years), lasts for a short time (2-3 weeks), and doesn’t have a long-lasting, significant impact on the child and family. If these conditions are met, there's usually no cause for concern. According to connectedfamilies.org, separation anxiety can be triggered by several factors, such as a lack of security, a new environment, or the behavior of a parent who, instead of being calm and composed, fuels the child's fear.
The new situation of starting the school year might be perceived by the child as a threat, but there are several ways to overcome this fear. Here are some tips from experts:
Introduce Routine: The more chaotic life is, the more threatening separation seems to the child. Establish a routine that provides a sense of security for your child.
Gradual Exposure: Gradually prepare your child for being under someone else's care. Start with brief outings, using the help of a grandparent, neighbor, or friend, and then slowly extend the time away.
Preschool Visits: Visiting the preschool before your child officially starts can help. It minimizes fear of the unknown and allows them to get used to the new setting. Once your child begins attending, maintain open communication with teachers to monitor progress and respond to your child’s needs.
Encourage Expression of Emotions: Help your child understand their feelings by encouraging them to express their emotions. This helps them process what’s happening and cope with new experiences. It's also important to support them in building relationships with peers, respecting their pace, and not pushing them to play with others if they’re not ready.
Remember, though, that "physical closeness to the parent often intensifies separation anxiety, so a quick goodbye and minimizing the length of the separation is better," according to the article.
Symptoms of Separation Anxiety: When to Seek Professional Help
The primary symptom of separation anxiety is an intense reaction when the child has to be left alone. This may include crying, screaming, and physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches, especially right before leaving home. Children may cry loudly, protest, hide, or even start vomiting.
In most cases, these symptoms disappear as quickly as they appeared. The child adjusts to the new environment, accepts the caregivers, and makes friends. However, in some cases, professional help is needed. If these anxiety reactions persist for more than 3-4 weeks, it’s crucial to consult a child psychologist.
