Our reader Ula shares that in her case, "pregnancy couldn't be described as a blessed state". She had nausea, vomited a lot, and even ended up in the hospital several times because of it.
A Difficult Pregnancy and Labor
"Those 9 months really took a toll on me. I felt awful, and I was constantly worried that something might be wrong with the baby. I spent most of the time lying down and running to the bathroom to vomit. It was a rough time. On top of that, my feet swelled a lot, and I got stretch marks all over my stomach and breasts," she recalls. "The labor wasn't much better; it lasted 12 hours, I had a perineal tear, and I needed stitches. It was a real nightmare. I have so much respect for women and for myself that we manage to get through all of this."
Currently, Ula’s daughter is a month old. "Things are up and down, but it’s not too bad. Zosia wakes up like clockwork every three hours for feeding, she sleeps a lot, and sometimes she has colic, but everything is pretty normal," she adds.
Applause for the Dad. "For What?!"
However, Ula is upset that her friends and relatives are mostly congratulating her husband on the birth of their daughter.
"From the beginning of the pregnancy, he’s been getting high-fives and hearing comments like, 'Good job,' 'Well done,' 'You really stepped up.' And me? Didn’t I? I’m the one who endured the struggles of pregnancy, felt like I was dying from the pain during labor, and then suffered for days after with engorged breasts that felt like they might explode and flood the whole neighborhood," recounts the mother of little Zosia.
"It really frustrates me that all the congratulations go to him, and I’m left out. Even when guests come over, they all pat him on the back like he’s the hero. No one praises me, no one has said even once that I’m a hero or that I did a great job or that they admire me. It’s like it's just expected because I’m the mother, and I just have to handle it. I’m angry, and it hurts. I don’t know if this is normal or if I just have strange friends and family who don’t get it?" she wonders.
Ula admits that her frustrations are spilling over onto her husband, and the whole situation is negatively affecting their relationship. She’s filled with resentment and doesn't know how to cope with it. "I’m not saying everyone should be doting on me, but if they’re praising him, they should say something to me too, just to lift my spirits a little. I know hormones are probably playing a role in my anger, but I’m wondering if I should tell my family how I feel about their behavior?" she reflects.
