Nowadays, seeing a man with a stroller on the street is nothing unusual. Men accompany their partners in delivery rooms, change diapers, take care of and play with their children, can go on paternity leave, clean, cook, and actively participate in household chores. But during the time of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, things looked very different.
How a "good" father was identified in the past
A TikToker on her profile @troxhim shared a video quoting a comment from a follower:
I still remember conversations between older women from when I was a child. It was the 1980s. They were happy they had gone through menopause because their husbands couldn’t father any more children. A good man was one who didn’t drink or hit
- one woman claimed. It turns out the TikToker encountered similar sentiments in her own life.
"In my family, there’s a lady who's close to eighty. She was born after the war. She has a son-in-law who’s been in prison. In general, his family has a restraining order, and he's an alcoholic" - she revealed. One day, this 80-year-old woman commented that the man's children would be much happier if another acquaintance was their father. The reason? He didn’t drink. That was the only quality she mentioned.
The TikToker also noted that she often sees posts from men online complaining about how women today have "unrealistic expectations." "It’s not that today’s women have unrealistic expectations. We are the first generation of women to have any expectations at all. The reason modern men think women have high standards is because their mothers, grandmothers, and aunts had none. In most cases, just like their husbands, they worked, but when both came home, he would sit and wait for dinner while she took care of the kids, cooked, did laundry, cleaned, and so on. A man who worked a regular job, didn’t hit or drink, was already considered a knight in shining armor," she concluded.
"My grandma wanted me to marry a window installer 20 years older than me"
Numerous comments from women sharing their own experiences and thoughts appeared under the video. Many of them encountered similar beliefs from their grandmothers and great-grandmothers.
My grandma wanted me (I have a degree and a good job) to marry a window installer 20 years older than me because he was a 'good match' and it was 'time for me.' When I had my daughter, she was happy to help at home (even though I have a husband and an older son). She was raised with these misogynistic values! She’s from eastern Poland, from a farming family
- one woman shared. "When I had my baby, my mother said about my husband: 'Oh, yours is so good, he knows how to change diapers. Mine just drank'" - wrote another.
When my mom divorced my dad after he cheated, my grandma complained that he was such a 'good man' - after all, he didn’t drink or hit
- added another commenter.
