Aleksandra Wiśniewska, Haps.pl: How did you two meet?
Sylwia: Meru’s friend knew my friend, which is how I appeared on Meru’s suggested friends on Facebook. One day, he messaged me...
Meru: She looked cute, so I just wanted to say hello. I didn’t know it would lead to this (laughs).
Sylwia: Yes, we didn’t plan this (laughs). When he wrote to me, I wondered who he was. I was in Poland at the time, and he was studying and working in London. I never even planned to go to England; it wasn’t on my list. But we talked and talked and talked...
Meru: And then she realized what a wonderful person I am (laughs).
When did you move to London to be with Meru?
Sylwia: I first visited him during the summer, briefly, so we could get to know each other better. I also wanted to see the city. I was still in university, so I had to return to Poland to finish my studies. Only then did we decide that I would move to London, and we’d see how our relationship would develop...
Meru: At first, it was just friendship, but over time we realized that our relationship had grown and moved to the next level. We moved in together, and that’s how it started. It took quite a while, about three years, before we decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
Sylwia: To give you some context, we started talking on Facebook in 2012, so 12 years ago!
Did you have two weddings?
Sylwia: We had an Indian wedding. We also planned a Polish one, but you know how it is... Life kept going on, we were working, and we were also thinking about how much it would cost... But who knows, maybe we’ll have a wedding in Poland soon?
Meru: I’m ready!
Especially since Polish weddings are full of food, you can’t miss that!
Meru: And moonshine!
Yes, moonshine! It’s indeed a very important part of Polish weddings. So, tell me, what is the Indian ceremony like? I’m especially curious about the food. In Poland, as I mentioned, there’s usually food to the ceiling...
Meru: Okay, let’s start by clearing up a misconception that I noticed while living in London for many years: Western societies often mistakenly think that India is primarily a vegetarian country. However, this is not the case. Most people, including myself, are not vegetarians. We eat a lot of meat, such as lamb, chicken, but of course, we also have many vegetarian dishes.
As for the ceremony, it’s divided into three parts. First, there’s the henna ritual, where different designs are painted on the hands with henna. Then there’s the wedding itself, and finally, the reception. In short, the reception involves the groom’s family welcoming and accepting the bride into their family. It’s a huge celebration where all possible dishes, both meat and vegetarian, are served.
How long does all of this last since there are three stages?
Meru: In India, we follow the lunar calendar, so it’s a bit different from Europe. There are certain dates when you shouldn’t get married.
Sylwia: It’s similar in Poland. There’s a superstition that to have good luck, you should get married in a month that has an "R" in its name.
Meru: I didn’t know that. In any case, in India, due to the different calendar and unsuitable dates, a wedding can last up to a month. Ours lasted three weeks. Interestingly, you can’t just leave the reception during that time. You have to provide accommodation for your guests for the entire duration.
Oh my, three weeks... How much did all of that cost?!
Sylwia and Meru: Too much!
Sylwia: Probably mostly because of the food...
Meru: Food is one thing, but the biggest expense was renting the hall. I think it’s similar in Poland. Honestly, I could have had a wedding in a park, organized some good food, and I would have been okay with that (laughs).
Did your families have the chance to meet? How do they get along?
Sylwia: Of course! My parents came to our Indian wedding. They got to experience the local traditions firsthand and meet Meru’s family, and they got along very well. Now, unfortunately, because of the distance between our countries, they don’t see each other often, but they definitely would like to. Sometimes, when we talk to Meru’s parents on the phone with the camera on, they come over and greet each other.
Meru: The biggest challenge is the language barrier. My parents speak Hindi and English, while Sylwia’s parents speak only Polish. But despite that, they get along very well on a human level. Sometimes Sylwia and I are surprised at how well they understand each other, even without speaking.
Until recently, you lived in London. You moved to Poland last year, right? Why?
Sylwia: Yes, we moved from London to Poland at the end of summer 2023.
Meru: The decision to move was driven by the desire to be closer to at least one of our families. We had lived in England for 10-11 years and reached a point where we felt we wanted to be with our loved ones. We also considered buying a house, and in Poland, for the same price as in London, you can find much better offers.
Meru, was this a big change for you? I had been visiting Poland for years, among other things, to see Sylwia’s family during holidays. Plus, as you probably know, there are a lot of Poles in London, so the exposure to Polish culture wasn’t new for me. What I noticed right away is that Poles are very family-oriented and close-knit with their loved ones. It reminds me a bit of India, where family ties are also very important. In my family, we value close relationships with grandparents, and in Poland, it’s similar; the grandmother is an extremely important member of the family.
What was the hardest thing for you to get used to? Was there anything that was completely incomprehensible to you?
Meru: Oh dear... I don’t know, probably nothing! (laughs)
Sylwia: I think at first, it was hard for you to get used to not being able to get all the spices you use for cooking.
Meru: Maybe so, but I can order them online. Maybe one difficulty is the language barrier, which sometimes happens. Although in Radom, where we live, it’s quite good. People speak a little English, I speak a little Polish, and we manage to communicate. It’s probably better in Warsaw; I suppose a lot more people speak English there. So yes, I would say that the language is a bit of a challenge, but I’m slowly trying to learn Polish, and for now, I’m able to communicate with many people, so communication problems aren’t a big concern for me.
Do you see any similarities between our nations?
Meru: Oh yes! As I mentioned earlier, there are definitely very close family relationships. But also, the fact that everyone is constantly talking about food! During breakfast, you talk about what you’ll have for lunch, and during lunch, you talk about what you’ll eat for dinner. It’s exactly the same in India. We love to eat; we’re obsessed with food! During daily conversations with my parents, we mainly talk about food: what we’ll eat, what we’ll cook.
And Polish cuisine? Do you remember your first encounter with Polish food? What was it? Meru: This might sound very stereotypical, but the first Polish dish I tried was pierogi.
Of course!
Meru: That was still when we lived in London. Or maybe not? No, I think I tried pierogi for the first time in Poland. Anyway, it wasn’t completely new to me because in India, we have something similar called momo.
Sylwia: They’re a bit like our Polish pierogi, but they’re steamed.
Meru: And just like in Poland, they can be stuffed with various fillings: chicken, vegetables, like cabbage, just like you have. So that didn’t surprise me, but I love gołąbki. Especially when Sylwia’s grandmother makes them. The best part is the tomato sauce; I’m not too fond of the cabbage, but the meat filling inside is great.
Then you have to try gołąbki with sauerkraut. They’re the only ones I accept.
Meru: Okay, I haven’t tried those yet. What else do I like... Sausage, of course!
Sylwia: And flaki. Many people are surprised when they hear that you like flaki because even in Poland, not everyone is fond of them.
Meru: Yes, Sylwia’s mom makes flaki from pork, and I love them. Most people would probably be disgusted to see that they have to eat intestines. But for me, they’re great! In India, we also have something similar, but with lamb.
Sylwia: Your parents also like many Polish dishes.
Meru: Yes, like cucumber soup. I really like żurek, especially the one they make in the mountains. Oh my God, it’s so good...
Interesting, because foreigners usually don’t like pickled or generally sour dishes...
Meru: Really?!
Yes, for example, cucumber soup is too sour for some.
Sylwia: It’s true; it’s a bit of an acquired taste. But again, in India, you have a similar dish.
Meru: Yes, and that’s probably why I like it. Indian food is very diverse. When it comes to a sour soup like that, in Kashmir, where I’m from, we have a lamb stew made in a tangy sauce. The taste is similar, with a noticeable sour note. It’s not exactly the same, but you can catch certain similarities.
I’ve noticed that in Poland, I go through phases with different foods. For example, some time ago, I went through a phase with gas station hot dogs. I especially liked the ones with kabanos sausage. But then I think I got tired of them, maybe I bought them too often. Later, I switched to pâté. I could eat it with literally everything. Currently, my favorite dish is pork cutlets. With potatoes, with sour cream on top, and pickled cucumbers. Pork cutlets are life! If God came to me now and said he’s taking me up to heaven, I would say, "Okay, because I feel fulfilled" (laughs). That’s the level of love.
What you’re saying seems to confirm my impression from watching you on TikTok and Instagram that you like everything. But you can tell us the secret here, how it really is... Is there anything you don’t like?
Meru: Of course, there are many things I don’t like. Sylwia, why are you looking at me like that?! (laughs)
Sylwia: Okay, okay! (laughs)
Meru: If I had to choose something, it would be pierogi with cabbage. In my opinion, they’re off-putting, but I have no idea why. I would eat them, but...
Sylwia: You would eat anything. Especially with meat.
Meru: That’s not true, not just with meat. I really like cheese, for example. Which surprises me because I hadn’t eaten it in a sweet version before, but in pierogi, I really like it. But I don’t like cheesecakes. I’m sorry.
Really? I’m disappointed...
Meru: I like no-bake cheesecake, the creamy one made with cream cheese. But that quark from the tub that you have? No, for me, there’s something sour in it.
Sylwia: What’s sour? It’s the same cheese.
Meru: So what? I tried to like it, but I didn’t...
The only type of cheesecake I don’t accept is cheesecake with raisins. Oh my God, that should be banned.
Meru: Oh yes, I don’t like that either. But I do like donuts!
We talked earlier about sour dishes and żurek, which in Poland, we especially eat at Easter. And it’s just around the corner. What are your holidays like, coming from different cultural backgrounds? Do you also celebrate Hindu holidays?
Meru: We could celebrate all holidays that involve food (laughs). If someone invited us to, say, an African holiday, I wouldn’t mind. In my opinion, holidays are mainly about spending time with loved ones. Food is, of course, an important part, but family should come first. When I was a child, in my Indian school, we celebrated all holidays, so for example, we also celebrate Christmas in India. I remember decorating Christmas trees in class and bringing cakes to school.
As a child, I also celebrated Hindu holidays, like Holi, the festival of colors, or Diwali, the festival of lights, and now we also celebrate them together—either in India with my family or in Poland. So yes, we celebrate all holidays. By the way, I have to ask, why don’t you eat carp for the rest of the year, only at Christmas? It’s an amazing fish.
You’re the first person I know who says they like carp.
Meru: Really? You don’t like it?
I don’t know why Poles are so fixated on carp. It’s full of bones and smells muddy.
Meru: Maybe people don’t like it because it’s quite fatty...
Sylwia: Interestingly, in India, they also eat carp. It’s not exactly the same fish, but it’s also a species from the carp family. It’s called rohu.
Meru: I think you might like it because it’s more delicate and meatier than carp. It’s not as fatty. Very tasty, I recommend it.
Meru, what do you think of the way Poles celebrate holidays? A lot of food, usually very fatty and sweet... Do you like it? Meru: I love it! (laughs)
I thought so!
Meru: I think food during holidays is very important, and in my opinion, there isn’t too much of it. I would say it’s a standard amount. Honestly, I would like there to be even more (laughs). It’s nice to sit at the table with the whole family and share a meal with them. That’s the most important thing.
I know that at home you cook both Polish and Indian dishes. Do you think our cuisines can inspire each other?
Meru: Absolutely! I think there are many similarities between Polish and Indian cuisine. Many people would probably be surprised because there’s a stereotype that Indian cuisine is mainly vegetarian and quite specific. People think you won’t find meat there, but that’s not true. Indian cuisine differs from Polish cuisine in that it’s spicier, which is completely understandable because we have easier access to different types of spices. But that’s not a rule; there are many restaurants that serve milder dishes.
Sylwia: Even your mom’s cooking isn’t that spicy. I also thought of something else: you guys love kohlrabi in India.
Meru: Kohlrabi! As I mentioned, I’m from Kashmir, a mountainous region, and my parents are crazy about kohlrabi. Not for me personally, but for the people of Kashmir, kohlrabi is life. My parents were very shocked when I sent them a picture of kohlrabi from a Polish store. "Are you serious?!" – they couldn’t believe it. They didn’t expect that their favorite vegetable is also eaten in Poland.
How do you prepare it in India?
Meru: Nothing special. We just cook it, add a little salt, oil, and that’s it. Sometimes you can add a chili pepper if someone wants. Prepared like this, kohlrabi has a mild and delicate taste because our Kashmiri chili isn’t spicy. Very red, but not spicy. It gives the dish a nice, darker color.
Sylwia, what would you bring from Indian cuisine to Polish cuisine, and you, Meru, from Polish to Indian?
Sylwia: I think it would be rice. In India, they have very good long-grain rice. I would also gladly add Kashmiri spices to Polish cuisine. Not any others, just specifically Kashmiri ones. They’re mild in taste, but just a small amount is enough to give a dish a nice aroma. Oh, I know what else! In India, they have a very good potato dish called dum aloo. I would also gladly bring it to Polish cuisine. But of course, you can’t transfer all the flavors because then it wouldn’t be the unique Polish cuisine anymore.
Meru: On the other hand, I would bring all the soups. Indian cuisine isn’t big on soups. Of course, we have a few, but they’re nothing special, like tomato soup or mushroom soup. These are usually served at weddings; at home, soups are rarely made. Also, Indian soups are light and not really considered a meal. It’s completely different in Poland. Your soups have many additions, sausage, eggs, potatoes. I think India lacks soups like żurek or cucumber soup.
Indian cuisine is quite popular in Poland. Meru, how do you, as a native Indian, rate our Indian restaurants?
Meru: They’re absolutely awful! (laughs)
Not enough spices?
Meru: It’s not just that. Once in an Indian restaurant in Warsaw, we ordered a dish called chicken malai tikka. It’s pieces of chicken in a creamy sauce with lots of herbs and spices. The person taking the order looked very authentic, like an Indian, and everything was made from scratch, which we took as a good sign. We tried it, and it didn’t taste like it should at all.
Sylwia: It tasted like hospital food.
Meru: The chicken tasted like it was just boiled with a little paprika. I was offended then (laughs).
Sylwia: It was completely tasteless, no salt, nothing.
Meru: So far, I’ve only found one Indian place in Warsaw, but I don’t remember the name, where they had good snacks. So I feel like God sent me here on a mission to change that (laughs). But seriously, I understand that sometimes you have to adapt cuisines from other countries to local realities because, for example, Poles don’t use as many spices. But when you completely change your cuisine, what’s the point of making it? So I think that Indian restaurants in Poland don’t have real Indian cuisine.
Are there any culinary habits of Poles or Indians that still surprise you?
Meru: In India, when we eat rice at home, we eat it with our hands. In Poland, you don’t do that. I kind of understand why, but for example, my parents can do it very elegantly.
Sylwia: We also eat some things with our hands.
Meru: Really? Like what?
Sylwia: For example, snacks. You can choose what you want and take it.
Meru: Right, like pizza, fries...
Donuts!
Meru: That’s true! But then your fingers get sticky, and it’s hard to resist licking them... Back to the question, besides eating with your hands, I think everything else is quite similar. I can’t think of more differences.
Now I have a really tough question for you. Which mother-in-law cooks better?
Meru: Oh wow!
Sylwia: It’s hard to say because at home we never ate only Polish dishes every day. My mom cooked a bit of everything. We mainly had Polish cuisine at my grandma’s. My mom made sushi, pasta, rice, something different every day. On the other hand, Meru’s mom cooks only Indian dishes, especially Kashmiri ones. So it’s very hard to compare them.
Meru: Very nice and very diplomatic answer (laughs).
Sylwia: But both cook very well. We only had one problem with my mother-in-law: she used too much salt, but recently she’s reduced it, and it’s perfect. I really like many dishes she prepares, and when she visits, she makes some specifically for me. Even Meru doesn’t ask her to.
Meru: I think both moms, mine and Sylwia’s, care deeply about their cooking. My mom is the type of person who thinks her cooking is the best (laughs).
Sylwia: They cook very deliciously, and honestly, we prefer to eat what they prepare rather than go out. Their food is better than in restaurants.
Meru: Especially because with Indian food, what you see in restaurants doesn’t match what people in India eat daily at home. The difference is huge.
Sylwia: What Meru’s family from Kashmir cooks doesn’t look like the Indian dishes we know at all. They eat kohlrabi, they’re crazy about spinach...
Meru: We also eat fried lotus flower stems, just like in China. It’s a very unique dish.
And which one of you is the better cook?
At this point, Sylwia and Meru both point at each other
Sylwia: I cook differently. I need to have an organized plan. Meru cooks straight from the heart. He adds whatever, mixes it together, and everything always goes well and tastes delicious. On the other hand, I often taste the food as I cook to see if it needs anything else."
Meru: "That’s her strategy: she encourages me to cook, and then she eats everything (laughs)."
Sylwia: "I’d like to emphasize that Meru also cooks Polish food, not just Indian. And it’s not like we don’t eat anything else; we enjoy other cuisines too. So yes, I think he cooks very well."
Meru: "No, that’s not true. I agree that my Indian dishes turn out well..."
Sylwia: "But Polish ones too, like meatballs."
Meru: "Yes, but making meatballs isn’t rocket science. And you make other things, soups, like żurek. But yes, my Indian dishes are really good. Over the years, I’ve refined my skills to the best level possible, so I believe I cook Indian food better than anyone else. But Sylwia also makes very good Indian dishes and very good Polish ones."
Sylwia: "Maybe I’ll put it this way: my mother-in-law has accepted my Indian cooking. So it’s all good."
You can find Sylwia and Meru on social media, including TikTok and Instagram, under the name polsko_indyjska_rodzinka.
