While there’s no perfect age to have children, certain trends are noticeable. Our grandmothers often had children as soon as they turned 18, and it was considered normal back then. Our mothers had kids a bit later, around 25 years old. Today, young Polish women often delay having children because, as they say, "they want to enjoy life first before diving into diapers." Travel and personal growth come first, and then marriage and children later. This approach doesn’t always sit well with husbands and partners, who often pressure them to get pregnant and express a desire to have children "right now". This is the case for our reader, who has been married for less than a year, and her husband still can’t come to terms with the fact that she wants to have children only when she turns 34.
No explanation seems to get through to my husband. It scares me because I’m not even 30 yet, and he’d prefer if I got pregnant with twins and gave birth to sextuplets. Yes, you heard that right, that’s what my husband wants
- Klaudia told eDziecko.pl.
She’s unsure if she’ll have children, but her husband is persistent.
"When is the right time for a baby?", "Am I ready?", "Will I manage?" - these questions keep circling in our reader’s mind, but she still doesn’t have answers. She’s not even sure why because, in theory, everything points to this being the right time. However, what she truly wants is to simply "feel it," and that hasn’t happened yet.
My husband wants a baby so much, but I don’t feel ready. I’m not sure if I ever will be because I don’t feel drawn to children. I think it’s because we already have so many in the family, and my parents are satisfied. They don’t ask about my plans, and I’m just happier this way
- Klaudia confesses, explaining that she can’t imagine fitting a pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood into her life.
I don’t want to leave my job because if I fall out of the loop, it’ll be hard to get back into my profession. I’m scared of childbirth, recovery, and life with children afterward. Everyone knows that the biggest burden falls on the woman, and yet nothing changes. My husband doesn’t understand anything. How do I talk to him?
- she asks.
The most important thing is to live in harmony with yourself
While motherhood undoubtedly consumes a lot of time, and delaying personal goals can lead to frustration, it’s important to find a balance. There’s no point in taking the opinions of others to heart. The most important thing is to live in accordance with your own desires. The decision to start a family isn’t easy, and it’s normal for us women to have doubts. Sometimes, talking with your mom or a close friend can be helpful. When fears and doubts lead to tension or conflicts, it may be worthwhile to seek guidance from a specialist who can help the couple open up and better understand each other’s perspectives.
