In recent years, we have increasingly heard declarations from people openly saying that they do not want to have children. Some time ago, our reporter spoke with young women on this topic. "I’m not in a rush," "I used to want it, but for now, I say no", "Not right now, but maybe in the future", "The idea of pregnancy and childbirth terrifies me, I get stressed when I think about it," were some of their responses. Why are young people reaching such conclusions? We spoke about this with Katarzyna Krzywicka-Zdunek, one of the experts behind the Instagram account socjolozki.pl.
Natalia Kondratiuk-Świerubska, Kobieta.gazeta.pl: It seems to me that the topic of being child-free by choice wasn't as frequently discussed in the past. What explains this change?
Katarzyna Krzywicka-Zdunek, sociologist: I think this is not only about breaking a certain taboo but also about increased social awareness. People have started to reflect on this issue. They understand that parenting can come with various inconveniences and challenges. However, I believe the most important factor is that we’ve started to analyze our own needs more deeply and aren't afraid to talk about them.
So, it’s not just a "silly trend"? Such comments often come up when someone declares they don’t want to have children.
I definitely wouldn’t call it a trend, meaning something temporary and fleeting. These changes bring a lot of good, and I believe they will remain with us for a long time. Thanks to them, the level of conscious parenting is increasing. We must remember that many people who express these views were raised very differently from today’s youth. That’s why it’s difficult for them to understand this approach. Older generations often grew up with the belief that the individual exists to serve the needs of the community, not just their own. And as we know, today’s society emphasizes individualism. Moreover, older people often consider the broader context, such as demographic challenges.
What do the numbers look like today? Is it true that many people don't plan to become parents?
According to our research, 42% of Polish men and women who are already parents do not plan to have more children. When asked, "When will you have another child?" they answer without hesitation, "Never." In this group, more women (48%) than men (36%) respond this way.
Meanwhile, 14% of Poles don’t have children and don’t plan to have any. Of course, this could change. Many people adjust their views on this issue based on personal experiences. Interestingly, when we look at the population of Poles of reproductive age, the fertility rate hasn’t changed significantly. According to Poland’s Central Statistical Office (GUS), the fertility rate in 2020 was 1.378. This rate is steadily decreasing, but this is also linked to the fact that we have fewer women of childbearing age.
These numbers are surprising, especially considering the sensational CBOS study from over a year ago, which found that nearly 70% of Polish women of childbearing age don't plan to have children.
The CBOS report made a splash in the media because in the nearly 70% figure, the responses included both "I plan to" and "I don’t know." This is why the number was so high. However, it’s clear that when someone says "I don’t know," their decision may change in the coming years. Additionally, the survey asked both childless women and those who already had children about their plans for more children. The key takeaway is that 42% of people who haven't had children yet either don't plan to or aren't sure if they want children.
From your research, we also learn that 41% of childless individuals experience pressure from loved ones to have children. What is the reason behind this phenomenon?
Parents or grandparents who exert such pressure often believe that having children is a natural part of life. They grew up with the belief that this is simply how things should be. However, in recent years, we’ve seen a shift in attitudes toward this issue.
Is it possible that this kind of pressure will become less common in the future?
Of course, changes are possible. Let’s look at how attitudes toward divorce have changed over the last few decades. In the past, relationships involving infidelity or abuse often didn’t end in divorce. Nowadays, divorces are becoming more common, and most people accept this reality. Of course, there are still older people who say, "In the past, people fixed their marriages". They forget, however, that not every relationship can be repaired. Toxic relationships were just as common in the past; it wasn’t a problem unique to modern times. And people stayed in these relationships because they were afraid of society’s reaction. Moreover, few people considered ending a marriage.
For example, I know someone who believes that their now-elderly parents should have divorced. Their constant arguing and violence ruined this person’s childhood. However, the parents didn’t divorce due to their religion and conservative environment.
And that’s exactly why such people might tell their children or grandchildren that they "should do something" at a certain age or that "a woman’s duty is to have a child." Interestingly, we often see comments like these under articles or on social media. Reading them, we get the impression that such beliefs are still very common.
There’s also a frequent opinion that various social or political issues discourage people from becoming parents. But based on what you’ve said, it seems that it’s usually a matter of individual needs rather than external factors. Did people in the past who didn’t want children give in to social pressure?
I think that in the past, people simply believed more often that "this is the way things are," and having children after marriage was the natural next step. There wasn’t much deep analysis of the issue. Today, people are starting to reflect on their own needs. And, most importantly, they are speaking openly about them.
A few years ago, talking about not wanting children wasn’t as common. But this has started to change. In the media, there are people who claim they are happy with their child-free lives. Others say that they simply don’t feel ready (not only financially but also mentally) to become parents. They know that if they had children, they wouldn’t be able to provide them with a happy childhood. These people often face criticism, being called selfish, or hearing that they will change their minds when they find the right partner. Few people consider that this is a well-thought-out, responsible decision.
But as you mentioned, this gives hope for a higher level of conscious parenting. Thank you very much for the conversation!
