According to psychotherapist Stephen Johnson, a narcissist, as a result of difficult experiences (usually from childhood), has hidden their "true self" and replaced it with a "false self." Therefore, behind the mask of confidence and boldness, there is often fear and low self-esteem. Living with a narcissist is not easy.
Nine Traits and Behaviors of a Narcissist
How can we recognize a narcissist? A while ago, renowned American marriage therapist Darlene Lancer listed nine traits and behaviors that are characteristic of such individuals. Her list includes:
Using others to achieve their goals;
- Lack of empathy for the feelings and needs of others;
- Arrogance;
- Desire for prestige;
- Need for excessive admiration;
- Exaggerated sense of self-importance;
- Fantasies about unlimited power or great success;
- A sense of entitlement;
- Belief that others envy them.
What Games Do Narcissists Play?
The traits and behaviors mentioned by Darlene Lancer are quite general. In recent years, the topic of narcissistic personality disorder has gained more attention on social media. Psychologist Karolina Arendarczyk, who runs the Instagram profile @fundamenty_doroslosci, frequently discusses this issue. What games might a narcissist play? Arendarczyk listed five characteristic behaviors. "We often don’t realize that we are being manipulated, or we can’t even imagine that someone would speak to us with such an intent," Karolina Arendarczyk wrote in her Instagram post.
How to Recognize a Narcissist? Here Are Five Behaviors
The first example is deflecting and attacking. Narcissistic individuals behave this way when they are caught doing something wrong. They deflect attention from themselves and focus it on the other person. Another example is pretending not to understand. In these situations, a narcissist may explain that they had no idea that what they did was wrong.
The third game is denying combined with distraction. The goal of this behavior is to throw the other person off balance. The fourth example is mind reading. In this case, the narcissist tells their partner what they are feeling or not feeling. The fifth game is provoking. Narcissists use this technique when they run out of arguments, often touching on a topic that is painful for the other person and stirs up strong emotions.
